health care england

DID is an amazing model of functioning and an intelligent coping mechanism, however, once the reason for developing DID is no longer relevant it can become more harmful than beneficial and this is where help is needed. When I can't remember half of my summer holiday, I wonder why I bothered going on a holiday. When I start cooking dinner then forget I was even doing it until my husband reminds me, I feel down and useless. When I zone out for periods of time or can't concentrate on work because of the chatter in my head, it makes me anxious that I will lose my job.

Hiding from emotions is part of my problem. The emotions are there, but they can be hard to tolerate so I tend to self harm. This works as a distraction. It's easier to feel a physical pain than an intense emotional pain.

Eating disorders are my way of trying to take control of my life where I feel I have no control whatsoever. 

My clinical psychology sessions, have been largely focussed on dealing with comorbidities and trying to achieve some stability and in my everyday life for the last two years.

I was only actually explicitly told by my psychologist that I have DID after over a year in therapy. This came as a shock in many ways (although I dont know why because all  the signs were there, but I guess you just never think you're going to be told you have something like that) and has taken me a long time to get my head around. I wouldnt say I have my head around it yet either. I still struggle with it a lot.

Now, my psychologist is moving into working with me to identify my 'parts'. I think this will then lead on to merging them into one more stable person (something that some of my parts feel quite ambivalent about) and I am informed this will involve a therapy called EMDR.

Identifying my parts is a very difficult process in itself. Some of my parts don't want to be identified; some, I am not very aware of. Often, in a therapy session 'I' am not present. Be aware that the person writing this blog today is a part of the overall 'me' who is quite insightful and reflective and has a good knowledge of the parts of 'me'. I imagine, this is the part of me that will often write this blog. This person is not the person who always attends my therapy session. Generally, once my psychologist begins to ask me about my parts, there will commence a battle of wills inside my head between those wanting to express themselves and those wanting us to keep quiet to avoid the potential of being hurt or possibly destroyed.

Thinking and talking about parts in itself can be enough to make me unstable again, in which case, this stage of therapy will go on hold while we deal with gaining stability in life again (ie reducing depression, talking about reducing self harm, being able to function in life to continue working). There is a part of me who self harms to punish me for revealing them. Therefore, this is always a potential hazard in talking about parts. It means, this stage of therapy has to move at a very slow pace. Sometimes it feels like I take one step forwards and two steps back.

From what I've read, some people manage to integrate all of their parts into one stable person; for others it's living a stable life with their parts. I am hoping for the former but I guess that may largely depend on my progress through therapy and my therapist's patience!

Any questions or comments are welcome and will help me to write about what you want to hear.

Bye for now,

Candycan

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Why Raw Chocolate?

Raw cacao has a large concentration of minerals such as magnesium and sulfur, both of which are central to many of the body's processes. It also contains enzyme inhibitors that help sustain the amount of the chemical andandamide in our bodies. Andandamide contributes to feelings of happiness in the brain.

Cooking and processing dilutes the nutritional value of cacao. Cacao naturally contains small amounts of caffeine. However, the aromatic and tannic substances released during the roasting process amplify its effects and have also been known to contribute to insomnia, anxiety and mood swings.

So how do you reap the health benefits of dark chocolate? The answer: raw, organic chocolate. Here are two ways this nutritionally-rich and complex food can be enjoyed:

1. Cocoa Nibs

One of the best ways to consume organic raw cacao is in the form of cacao nibs. Similar to chocolate chips, they are great as an addition to trail mix, yogurt or blended into a chocolate shake. They are unroasted and often unsweetened but taste like true chocolate.

2. Cocoa Powder

Cocoa powder has the largest amount of flavanols, which research suggests may help protect the body from disease. It's also high in antioxidants. It is the least processed form of cacao and contains no fillers. You can use raw organic cocoa powder to make soy ice cream, smoothies or coconut water shakes. Dairy products may inhibit the absorption of the antioxidants in chocolate, so blend cocoa powder into non-dairy products.

What To Buy

The majority of cacao products on the market today are made from roasted beans and aren't the place to derive maximum nutritional value. Organic raw cacao is the best option and is easily found in health food and some grocery stores. In the absence of raw, organic chocolate, the next healthiest form of chocolate is organic dark chocolate, particularly unsweetened or bittersweet. Milk chocolate should not be considered healthy in any way given the fats, oils and refined sugars it contains.

Visit Chocolate Is Healthy for more information on the health benefits of chocolate. Learn more about raw organic chocolate.

People want to know if they can still satisfy their craving for chocolate without suffering the usual fattening side-effect. And better still, they would love it if eating chocolate, or at least dark chocolate, can confer health benefits.

Food of the Gods

Chocolate, in all its varieties, is classified as a food. One dictionary definition is that it is "a food prepared from ground roasted cacao beans."  It is loved by young and old - to such an extent that some have called it the food of the gods. In fact the scientific name of chocolate is "theobroma cacao." Theobroma is Greek which translates as "food of the gods" or "god food."

At less celestial levels, some have coined the phrase "food without borders", referring to the international liking of chocolate.

Chocolate is not a natural food. Cacao (or cocoa) is a natural food, but chocolate is derived from the processing of cacao. The finished product, the chocolate bar in the shop, contains large amounts of sugar, fat and other additives. It is a calorie time-bomb, or, should I say, instant explosive.

Benefits of Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate, depending on its quality, is less calorie-laden. It typically contains much less cocoa butter than light chocolate. So score one for dark chocolate on this count.

Light chocolate, also called milk chocolate, as its name implies, contains milk which lightens its color and makes it taste smoother. The chief health benefit of chocolate is from flavanoids which have antioxidant qualities. They are said to help improve or relax blood pressure by producing nitric oxide. It may also help to reduce bad cholesterol levels. Research shows that the addition of milk destroys the antioxidants. So score two for dark chocolate over light or milk chocolate on this count.

Other benefits of chocolate, not restricted, I think, to the dark variety, is that it leads to feelings of pleasure due to the production of endorphin. It also contains serotonin, which is an anti-depressant. But some researchers say that the protein in the chocolate will counteract the serotonin. At the same time, there are stimulants like theobromine and caffeine. All these ingredients, in combination, tend to produce, I suppose, a sense of pleasure, a happy mood and yet a slightly sharpened alertness.

But the taste? That depends on individuals. Most people find the bitterness in dark chocolate not so appetizing, which, it might be said, is also its virtue. But if you want to take it like a medicine, there is nothing wrong with that! There are, however, those who actually prefer its taste to the more sugary and sweeter light chocolate. They are the lucky ones. It can also be an acquired taste, boosted by the thought of its goodness.

How Much Dark Chocolate to Consume

Dark chocolate is still chocolate - it is high-calorie and high-fat. Dark and light simply have relatively more or less amounts. A small dose of dark chocolate, say not more than 100 grams, each day or every other day, to get the flavanoids, if you must, should be enough. More will be counter-productive. All studies testing the benefits have involved a daily consumption of less than this amount. And remember to balance out the calorie intake by cutting out other snacks. (People on antidepressant medication which contains monoamine oxidase inhibitors should proceed with caution, as they are advised to avoid tyramine, which is a chemical in chocolate.)

Watch out also that the manufacturers have not removed the bitterness by taking away the flavanoids. Some scientists are also skeptical of the long-term effect. They think that when a person has a regular high intake of flavanoids the body will adapt and the beneficial effect will dissipate.

Final Thoughts

The moral of the story has to be: everything in moderation. In this vein, an occasional and measured indulgence in the other types of chocolate should not be excluded.

Everything we eat is part of our diet. It is the overall diet that we have to watch.

A. Aziz tries to enjoy the finer things in life - but in moderation.

For lovers of chocolate of all kinds: visit Chocolate House and go here to read All About Chocolate.